when lonely, I go Facebookin’

shivering boyThis morning I awoke with a general restlessness and insecurity. I was graced with a cup of strong coffee and the warm comfort of a real person, my dear Andrea. How nice to be able to start counting your blessings at 5 a.m.
But beyond that – Andrea must ready herself for work – how to answer this nagging insecurity, which borders uncomfortably on loneliness born of an unsettling dream? Why, all my friends from the ether, of course. Good morning Facebook!
Like Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks finding a bit of solace in the quaint “You’ve got mail!” of opening their AOL accounts – in the romantic comedy of the same name — I find comfort from a short dip in the lap pool of What My Friends are Doing and Thinking. With two keyboard clicks I’ve gone from the isolated pond of my own thoughts to the swimming community of theirs.
In 1966 Robert Parker sang of the joys of dancing in his minor hit “Barefootin.’”So permit me the little joys of Facebookin,’ aimlessly floating down the stream of other people’s lives while I try to get back to my own.
So today I see a touching video of an 11-year-old boy shivering at a bus stop in Oslo, Norway, and all the people who offered him their coats, scarves and gloves. It was a promo film for SOS Children’s Villages International’s campaign to find clothing for children displaced by the Syrian civil war. It was staged with a volunteer boy, yet still a welcome demonstration of human caring – something I personally am always glad to see.
Also: an aerial photo of the Great Lakes frozen over, compliments of my friend Steve from Stratford, Ont.; a funny Far Side cartoon posted by Kenny from Detroit; two cats snuggling into an open suitcase shared by Tracy of Ada; news of a land gift to Meijer Gardens from Jim of Grand Rapids Township; a much-commented-upon think post about Miley Cyrus from Brian of East Lansing; and, God bless him, a clip posted by John Serba of the just-late Harold Ramis and his classic “print is dead” scene from “Ghostbusters.”
As you can see, nothing here will change the course of American foreign policy. But it did change the course of my day just a little, drawing me out of myself which at the moment was not a wonderful place to be.
Facebookin’ can also be an annoying distraction, of course, especially if you’re not the one doing it. You’re trying to have real human interaction with this person but he just keeps scrolling through his phone like a little kid glued to his Gameboy. This kind of Facebookin’ does not enhance community, it nibbles away at it.
Facebook can also be a mindless way to not deal with your own stuff. Rather than pay attention to your discomfort and sit with it, as Pema Chodron would advise, you cover it over with superficial surfing of other people’s stuff.
And, I do worry about Mark Zuckerberg’s potential power over the entire human enterprise when he’s got the buying habits and musical tastes of more than 1 billion users at his fingertips.
Still. Facebook as community when you keenly feel a lack of it can be a balm to the troubled soul. It can even be a place of spiritual sustenance, lifting you from your closed-in mindset to a broader view of what’s happening out there as seen through others’ eyes. It brings you closer to other souls, whether troubled or content.
Well, I will not make definitive proclamations about the social good of Facebook. I will just say that today I was grateful for it. And now I must get back to my own “real life.”

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